Building Resilience: How to Help Your Brain and Body Fight Stress

Resilience is one of our best resources against stress.

Resilience is essentially our ability to bounce back from stressors that can come from small daily annoyances (i.e. traffic, someone finishing the last pot of coffee, getting too many emails, etc.) to major life stressors (i.e. moving, divorce, natural disaster, interpersonal violence, etc.). It's also a skill we can build for ourselves and it's important to recognize how much control we have over this. However, it's also okay if the sheer amount of stressors you have affects you more than you'd like. We're only human and we need support and breaks built into our lives or it will eventually wear away at us. Ideally, I would tell all of you to take regular vacations and avoid anyone who stresses you out. But that's not realistic for most people. So instead, I'll share some of the most research backed ways of increasing your own resilience. These include: gratitude, mindfulness, exercise, good nutrition, consistent, restful sleep, and supportive relationships.

Practicing gratitude daily for three weeks can help rewire your brain to seek out more positives and increase feelings of happiness. Gratitude should also be personal to you. In other words, avoid the word "should" when identifying what you are grateful for. Ignore what you "should" be grateful for and just start by thinking of small things that made your day better. I've personally noticed for myself and my patients that starting small is easier and more effective in building this skill. To learn more about gratitude specifically, check out my article How to Rewire The Brain To Be More Grateful In Three Weeks.

I’ll be very honest for a moment and admit that mindfulness was always tough for me and I'm still working on building this skill. But I can also say that days that I've been consistent with a 5-10 minute mindfulness clip in the morning have gone smoother and had more peace. Like any skill, work your way up! Start with 10 seconds, 30 seconds, 1 minute, etc. If you are fantastic at mindfulness, 30-45 minutes a day might be perfect for you, but even 30 seconds a day can reduce or prevent symptoms of anxiety and depression.

All I will say for exercise and nutrition is find what works for you. Building resilience does not involve shaming yourself or others. As long as you're moving, it counts as exercise. Consulting with your primary care doctor, nutritionists, dieticians, personal trainers, physical therapists, etc. can help figure out what works best for you and your body.

I struggled with insomnia for many years of my life and I know that I was not my most pleasant self during that time. Sleep hygiene can be a great start if your sleep issues are more transient or situational. This includes any combination of creating a bedtime routine, reducing screen time before bed, drinking calming tea, using calming essential oils, etc. However, if your sleep was specifically affected by a traumatic experience you might notice significant difficulty falling asleep due to racing thoughts or repeatedly waking up due to nightmares and/or vivid disturbing dreams. These are normal responses to trauma that may require more assistance. Call me for a quick free consultation call if you’d like to address these symptoms now.

Lastly, supportive relationships. Having loving, kind relationships can help us get through almost anything. Quick test to assess if your relationships are healthy: do you generally feel calm/validated or stressed/irritable after speaking with them? The former is a great sign. The latter could just be a sign of a tough time or a need to improve communication. Or it could be that the relationship itself isn't all that healthy. If you notice many of your relationships make you feel worse, it might be a good time to call for a consult and gain insight on why that might be and what you can do about it.

Resilience is a skill like any other so be patient with yourself while you figure out what works for you. The other important thing that helps with resilience is setting boundaries like saying “no” when you don’t have capacity for things – even if you’re just saying it to yourself. If you are constantly finding yourself feeling burnt out, irritable, and fatigued, you might just need to do less. Choosing to do less can feel difficult or impossible but the reality is that your mental health has to be a priority or it will often deteriorate to the point where it makes itself one. Whenever possible, I recommend getting help and support long before it feels insurmountable or overwhelming. If you want to dive deeper into processing a difficult event or learn more about how to build your resilience, call me for a free consultation call.